December 3rd, 2008

Dear friend,
I have recently read a book that has changed my life. I am not talking that it changed my life but in two weeks I’ll be back to normal. I’m talking it has changed my life permanently. I think it was from the experience. Often when a book is read and analyzed and felt by a group of people it means more than when you read it alone. You see so many different points of view when other people connect to the same thing. It becomes that much more personal.
I mean, I have been through a lot this year, and the main character, Charlie, kept talking about how he didn’t think his life was that bad. He talked about how he felt bad for feeling sad about his life because so many other people were feeling pain that was so much more than his. For a long time, I felt that same way about my problems. But then he talked to his dad about it, and his dad explained that pain is pain and it hurts. Nothing creates a significance or minimalist idea about pain, it just is. That made it ok. It was okay to feel upset when I was upset and happy when I was happy.
I think there are two moments in this book that really hit hard. The first was when Charlie was talking to his English teacher about his sister. He told the teacher how he watched his sister’s boyfriend hit her. The teacher, Bill, said “we accept the love with think we deserve.” I realized this year, finding out about my dad’s affair, that this is very true. My mom had known for on going weeks about the situation, but she stuck with it. I was angry and hurt because I knew she deserved so much better. She was raised with these values to stand by her husband, no matter what wrong he has done. She felt as long as she loved him it was enough. She thought that is what she deserved.
The other moment was when it was his birthday. He was reflecting on how his aunt died on his birthday because she left in a snowstorm to buy him a present. He just continued to feel this deep, almost aching, sadness. He talked about how during those times he wished he had good memories saved up so he could remember what it felt like to be happy. I have felt alone in the same kind of sadness, and I liked that it was such a simple honesty that I could relate to him.
In ending, overall I felt the book was a complete whole. Sometimes you get to the end and it doesn’t fit the beginning or middle, but this one did. It was this search for solace in a strangers arm. At least once in everyone’s life I can bet they could have that with someone they had completely no idea about. I think if we shared our deepest thoughts and feelings with someone we didn’t know, it would help us immensely. With a stranger you have no obligation to see them, let them know who you are and therefore you don’t have to twist the story at all when telling it. It was beautiful.

Kalina